Posts by JaylaB

I love writing so enjoy my thoughts!

Post College Graduation Feels

Hi guys! It’s been a while, I know. I’m going to try and be as transparent and vulnerable as possible through this post because lets face it we all know life is hard. This post specifically is directed toward life post-graduation. So lets get into the numbers (I majored in business)… An article by Elizabeth Redden states “The unemployment rate for young college graduates exceeds that of the general population, and about 41 percent of recent college graduates — and 33.8 percent of all college graduates — are underemployed in that they are working in jobs that don’t require a college degree”

Not everyone who gets a degree will use that degree. Yes, you read that correctly. I graduated during a whole pandemic, therefore, I struggled finding a job after graduation for the longest. So many emotions, so many thoughts, “I have a degree, why is no one hiring me?”… Everyone asking “Do you have a job yet?” or one of my favs (not really) “You have a degree why don’t you have a job” I mean the list could go on and on. The reality is the professional world is so hard to get into pandemic or not especially when it’s about who you know and not what you know.

It seemed every “No” from different companies was a reflection of who I was as a person and made me question if I was good enough…. Until I read a quote that said, “No, is not a rejection, but a redirection from God.” My mindset changed. All those “No”s” have lead me to an amazing job offer in Jacksonville, Fl in my career field with so many amazing benefits. (Alexa, play He’s an on time God) I am in awe of how quickly things can turn around in your favor with the right mindset and dedication. I am grateful!

My advice to anyone going through this is to figure out what you want to do and where you want to be and apply. The advice I was given at UCF was to apply to at least 15-25 jobs a day to get 1 call back. (Its a lot I know, but its a strategy that works especially in bigger cities). Make sure you have a neat, one page resume. Try and tailor your resume to meet the job requirements because the machine will not pull your application if you don’t have anything in common with the job description. Get connected; use platforms like LinkedIn to connect with potential employers and make sure you’re prepared when the time comes!

“The advantage of preparation is that you can manage problems much quicker and more efficiently because you will already have the solutions at hand ready to be applied.”

xoxo,

Jayla

Living For Yourself

image-2This particular topic was sparked by a conversation earlier that involved me explaining why I feel like I always have to explain myself. I remember stating how exhausting it was being in my own head. I felt as though every little thing I did needed an explanation so others could understand me or understand my decisions or understand my situation.

It hadn’t occurred to me until that very moment that I was trying to make everyone else happy while neglecting my own peace of mind. I can recall another conversation with my cousin when I first started at UCF; I was telling my her that if I didn’t do well in a class, I didn’t think my family would want anything to do with me, I was going to get kicked out of school and end up homeless (I’m so dramatic). Looking back in retrospect, its pretty comical. At the time being not so much lol.

Yes, we typically want our family and friends to be happy with who we are and what we are doing. However, Family and Friends don’t have to spend the rest of their life with you, you do. Friends and family don’t have to live with the consequences, you do. I know that is human nature to think of others before making a decision, ultimately the decisions you make have to best suit you. Realizing now that not everyone needs an explanation, sometimes no one needs an explanation at all. As long as there is an understanding within yourself and you know who you are, thats all that matters.

If you’ve learned from all the “bad” choices then I guess they weren’t so bad at all. Learn to make choices out of love and discernment and not worry about having to explain it. Make choices that make you happy,  not only because you deserve to, but because you are not responsible for any ones happiness but your own. It’s the most liberating thing to get out of your own head and live for the moment. Life isn’t promised. Let things come and let things go. Whats true will always remain. 

xoxo, Jayla

Social Diversity

Screen Shot 2019-08-19 at 9.34.29 PM.png“Diversity may be the hardest thing for a society to live with, and perhaps the most dangerous thing for a society to live without.” -William Sloane Jr.

One could imagine how boring the world or life as we know it would be if everyone were the same. That is why its so vital to always stay true to who you are because there is no one like you. I wanted to give myself the opportunity that residing in a small town couldn’t. I wanted to grow. Living in a small city is great but it can also put limits on your outlook about you and outlooks about the world. You’ve set in your mind that everyone and everything is one way when in reality there’s a whole world you can’t even imagine.

Being in a larger city I see some of everything; there are people of different ethnicities, sexual orientation, religious beliefs, and race, which is exactly what I hoped for moving here. Such a drastic change from little old Jasper. I’m aware, just as well as others (especially in small towns) individuals use religion to shame/hate a group of people that they don’t particularly care for or agree with. However, if your religion causes you to hate anyone, get a new religion. I’ll use my mine for example, according  to what I believe I’m supposed to love like Jesus loves; which means loving everyone no matter of the color, religious beliefs and or sexual orientation because like Jesus, we love the sinner but hate the sin.

I have met so many college students who have helped me along the way and not one have come from a similar background than me and that’s the beauty of it; we learn so much from one another. If we can understand our differences with one another we can respect each other a little more in this walk of life.  We are all made wonderfully, and each have different gifts and purposes; respect is always key…. Always remember the world needed a “you”

xoxo, Jayla

God, Show Me the Me You Know

Screen Shot 2019-08-19 at 9.38.30 PMHow well do you know yourself? This week I came across a quote that said, “I am who He says I am.” I read it and understood it as it was, never really thinking too much into it. This Sunday, as I was sitting in church and the Pastor, said something that made me rethink that quote; he said, “God, show me the me You know.” I had to pause and contemplate. See, I believed who I thought I was, was who God knew me to be.

Take this as an example: My name is Jayla, I’m twenty-one years old, 4’11, a student at the University of Central Florida… Do I think I’m the prettiest, no. Do I think I’m the smartest, no. Hair always a mess, I’m even a little overweight for my height (so they say, lol). I’m far from perfect, I make mistakes and fail Him daily.  I thought my choices defined me, I thought my physical appearance defined me, but they don’t. This is not the me that God knows. I had to do some soul searching before I could even begin to understand who God said I was.

There are people who go their whole lives not knowing their true self…The enemy will try to keep you away from the truth because when you know the truth (Jesus) you gain power over him and your situations. He doesn’t want you to know that you have a purpose and that God has intentions for your life.  Jeremiah 1:5 says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you…”  There is a you, that never worries, there’s a you that never engaged with things of this world, there’s a you that never did all the things you are ashamed of and God knows that “you”.

Lauren Daigle said it best in her song titled, “You Say”

“You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, You say I am Yours”

Think about it, God created us, He knows everything about us, yet: He still loves us, forgives us, shows us grace and mercy day in and day out. Obviously, He sees something in us that we don’t even perceive. I learned that I am not who I say I am, I’m not who my teachers say I am, I’m not who my parents or friends say I am, I’m definitely not who my enemies say I am, but I am who God says I am. I believe that when we know our true selves, we can be more confident in walking in our purpose and not worrying what others think. I leave you with this question: Who are you?

xoxo, Jayla

Time

Screen Shot 2019-08-19 at 9.24.44 PMTime… it seems to be the remedy for an infinite amount of adversities in life, yet it also can be the problem itself with most. Let’s start here…

What is time? Time can be defined as, “the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future.” As people, we seem to be entitled to time, we believe we have all the time in the world to do the things we love or be around the people we love. We push things off because we figure we have “time” to do it later or we push people away because we have “time” to apologize later. What happens when time is no longer an option? Anger? Unhappiness? Loneliness? Frustration?

We constantly stress about things out of our control, we don’t laugh as much as we should, we don’t say “I love you” enough, we don’t love ourselves like we could, we don’t apologize and we sure don’t forgive as we should…. I say “we” due to the fact that I too have experienced these things and still do. I find myself stressing about things that won’t even matter in a year or so…. I catch myself saying things such as, “Oh, I’ll call her back tomorrow.” Or “I’ll stop by one of these days to see you.”

It’s a difficult term to come to and a hard pill to swallow, but time on this earth is not guaranteed to anyone….We’re adults, we’re busy I know, however, believe me when I say time has a funny way of slipping away and before you know it, it’s not on your side anymore. Make time for the people who are near and dear.

Stop talking yourself out of opportunities because you aren’t “ready” if half of us waited until we were ready we’d still be waiting.

Coming to terms that tomorrow isn’t promised can help shift a change in one’s perspective.

Live in the moment—Love while you can, learn while you can, laugh while you can, forgive often, and make time for the people who matter. If you miss someone call them if you love someone tell them, if you did something wrong apologize, if someone did you wrong LET THAT HURT GO….Don’t take anything for granted and cherish your people while they’re here.

Xoxo, Jayla

Beautifully Blended

Screen Shot 2019-08-19 at 9.26.23 PMSociety has a way of sculpting ones way of thinking and even ones way of life. Growing up biracial has a way of making you understand the importance of self-love and self-acceptance at an early age. Here’s what I mean by that…

I recall growing up getting ready to take a big test or signing up for certain events and only being able to choose one box for race… I contemplated to myself, how can I choose one without the other? I can remember asking my teacher which box to check and her responding with something along the lines of, “your Dad is black so that’s what you are.” Talk about a slap in my Mom’s face..How could I throw away one side of me for society’s way of viewing me?

Even certain family members had side remarks on my race on both sides. Kids at school didn’t make it any better. I was, “too white for the black kids and too black for the white kids.” Talk about confusing! I would always ask myself, “Well what am I?” As if I was some experiment. I struggled with self-identity for a while because I wanted to find “my place” in society. Imagine thinking and experiencing this at the tender age of 5+ all because of a box.

I cared so much to fit in …. I ended up straightening/perming my hair; all while damaging the beautifully coiled curls I was given because “peers” didn’t like it curly. I spent extra hours in the sun getting a tan as a result of my skin not being “dark” enough. I was told things like, “the only reason I was pretty was because I was mixed.” (I hate that term by the way!)

It wasn’t until I was given the opportunity to choose one or more races, that I realized I could be considered both black and white simultaneously; I’d been doing it all along I just didn’t realize it. It was like a light bulb went off. All this time I was under the impression I had to pick and choose a side all because of “a box.”

At that point, I allowed myself to come to terms of being unapologetically me. I gave my curls the chance to flourish while accepting everything that came with being biracial. I stopped tanning as much because having a fair skin-tone is okay too! Being biracial doesn’t automatically mean you have to be tan! When you understand who you are, you accept who you are. I have the opportunity to experience two cultures (best of both worlds as others would say!)

All in all, I use to dread when people questioned my race, due to the fact I “picked a side”. Now I answer, ” I’m biracial: black and white.” I came to the realization that no matter how others view me, being biracial is one of the many things that makes me!

Don’t spend your life trying to fit in a box! Always be true to you and own who you are! Life will be so much easier.

xoxo

Jayla