This particular topic was sparked by a conversation earlier that involved me explaining why I feel like I always have to explain myself. I remember stating how exhausting it was being in my own head. I felt as though every little thing I did needed an explanation so others could understand me or understand my decisions or understand my situation.

It hadn’t occurred to me until that very moment that I was trying to make everyone else happy while neglecting my own peace of mind. I can recall another conversation with my cousin when I first started at UCF; I was telling my her that if I didn’t do well in a class, I didn’t think my family would want anything to do with me, I was going to get kicked out of school and end up homeless (I’m so dramatic). Looking back in retrospect, its pretty comical. At the time being not so much lol.

Yes, we typically want our family and friends to be happy with who we are and what we are doing. However, Family and Friends don’t have to spend the rest of their life with you, you do. Friends and family don’t have to live with the consequences, you do. I know that is human nature to think of others before making a decision, ultimately the decisions you make have to best suit you. Realizing now that not everyone needs an explanation, sometimes no one needs an explanation at all. As long as there is an understanding within yourself and you know who you are, thats all that matters.

If you’ve learned from all the “bad” choices then I guess they weren’t so bad at all. Learn to make choices out of love and discernment and not worry about having to explain it. Make choices that make you happy,  not only because you deserve to, but because you are not responsible for any ones happiness but your own. It’s the most liberating thing to get out of your own head and live for the moment. Life isn’t promised. Let things come and let things go. Whats true will always remain. 

xoxo, Jayla